remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
