Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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