i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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