Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
