just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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