I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
