nut hugger
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
