You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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