I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
