You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
