Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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