So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
