her vagine was all disorganized.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
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