That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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