She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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