guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My breasts were aching with rage.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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