you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
