I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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