So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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