Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
