We won't sleep together?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
