the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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