I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
