its not stalking. its research.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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