would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
