dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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