I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
