There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Success! We fucked roommates!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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