He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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