The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
sex in a hospital.. check
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
