He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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