it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
