im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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