I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
After tacos, we're chasing women.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
