he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
