i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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