he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just threw up on my dentist
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
