Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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