How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize