i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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