hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think a kid would responsible me up
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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