Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
