If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize