how can u be prego again
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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