...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
