4 words: hood of his car
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
