their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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