What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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