I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
