Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
