We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
