It's like God shit irony all over that family
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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