none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
