one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize