carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
