I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
