Only a mothe r could love this liver
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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