My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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