smell my finger.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize