oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize