Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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